Saturday, January 17

Shocked & Appalled


We've all heard the stories about the fuck-face Bernie Madoff and his $50 billion ponzi scheme. What is less covered are the vehicles that provided Madoff with his money - fund-of-hedge-funds that catastrophically failed to protect their investor's money with a modicum of due-diligence. They, too, are fuckers. In London the most visible feeder is Fairfield Greenwich who, as of November 1, 2008, had approximately $14.1 billion of client money, of which approximately $7.5 billion was invested by Bernard L. Madoff Investment Securities often unbeknownst to their clients. My brief run in with Fairfield occurred in '05 when I was introduced, via my business partner, to Andres Piedrahita who oversees Europe and Latin America; Piedrahita is the husband (of course) of Fairfield's founder Walter Noel's daughter Corina. From a large glass office overloooking the Royal Academy on Cork Street in Mayfair, Piedrahita kept me waiting for an hour then smoked a cigar whilst doing his best to make me feel unwelcome. Strange behavior for a guy selling something - in this case Madoff and other hedge funds - Piedrahita had little to say nor barely bothered to explain himself, his business and Fairfield's track-record despite performance that out-performed many good private equity funds yet without a ten-year lock-up. Here is a December 12, 2008, letter still on Fairfield's website:

“We are shocked and appalled by this news,” said Jeffrey Tucker, founding partner of
Fairfield Greenwich Group. “We have worked with Madoff for nearly 20 years, investing alongside our clients. We had no indication that we and many other firms and private investors were the victims of such a highly sophisticated, massive fraudulent scheme.”

The funny thing is: it now appears that Madoff never made a trade. It is a sad, despicable story all around and I am glad for myself and my friends that I wanted nothing to do with them then and now.

I look over to see half-a-plate of pasta dangling from Eitan's mouth. Sonnet: "what... house... am... I... in?!"

Eitan hands me his scarf and gloves: "take these, dad."
Me: "What's the magic word?"
Eitan: "Now."